TODAY I AM MOTHER EARTH (2015)
Through day and night I have given nutrients to the beings that needed sustenance. I have cradled their broken wings, and let the wolves howl at the moon without judgement. I have been solid like mountains as the blizzards have beaten my cliff sides. Through day and night I have given my water to the rivers, families, and trees. I have loved you all unconditionally. Through hurricanes, tornados, and storms I have not let my back become broken so you could have a home, a place to retreat when no one else would listen. My roots recycle you-- give breath in your lungs, and a place for your children to grow. I have loved you all unconditionally. I have allowed you to siphon energy from the dead skin of the ancient ones so you could remain warm. I have allowed you to live in luxury at the price of my precious lands. I have allowed you revel in your own glory, so much so, that you believe this was all made for you, your existence means more than all my other children. I have loved you all unconditionally. But I am beginning to wane. My anger and temperatures are rising. My heartbeat grows static and stale. My resources are being drained. You have raped me. You have burned me. You have left your cum like oil spills on my landscape. You expect me to keep feeding you when you are taking the fields that grow. You expect me to give birth to your wants and needs and desires with no respect for my womb and the tender appreciation it needs to survive. Your awareness of my destruction comes in waves of convenient self promotion. Not when I am screaming fury for your collaboration, your love-- I have loved you all unconditionally. But I am beginning to wane.
I love you through Solar flares and soliloquies. I love you through Wind storms and wash rooms. I love you through Filtered fractals and foreshadows. I love you in Soft light and dark night. I love you in Metaphors and mountains. I love you in Rivers and Road houses. I love you through Breakthroughs and breakdowns. I love you through Silence and shambles. I love you through Disbelief and disarray. I love you in Colors and confession. I love you in Hope and happiness. I love you in Tonality and timbre. I love you.
CLOUDED QUARTZ (2O17)
Walls of clouded quartz and obsidian built From hands of shock and heartbreak keep the world out. Futile hold and heart make visions b l u rr y, while a Broken head and deformed dopamine Carve canyons in sensibility and security. I scrutinize from behind the translucence As the borderline people and marginal thoughts Float past as fog and fish hooks-- Lures disguising themselves as liberation. Loneliness creeps in from behind rainbows as I continue to build the crystalline barricade. Found stones of subtle silences and traumatic openness Pyramid up until the Sun has no brilliance. Penumbral pantomimes mock A human heart, because I can see the shadows But there are no clear lines-- No trust in the distortion of anthropomorphic reality. Walls rumble at the first signs of thunder. Clouded quartz and obsidian begin to shake loose And I am soon buried under an avalanche of Rainbows and irony.
DAZED KING (2015)
Jewels are embedded in the Sinews of your soul But you are eating Poison berries. They are lined on the Edges of all the witches You have married. Do you see the golden Copper and the precious metals Dripping from your Mind? You are running Into the swamp To follow the gypsy time. But you are eating Poison berries— You do not see Flames too high And the vibrato Of the eerie night. Wake up dazed King A fairy queen awaits you on the Other Side: She will sing you light But only if you have the Strength to fight. Powerful magic follows you. The darkness so wants the treasure it can glean. Wake up dazed King A spell the Fairy Queen is weaving. Step each toe out of the Alligator ash. Be brave, This fear I promise won't last. Do you see the tendrils of Green plants growing in the shadows? They come now
To give you friendship And valor. Do you see the sun breaking Through the storms? It comes now to warm your spirit. Do you see the hope Like a blank page full of potential? Step each toe out of the Alligator ash. This fear I promise won't last. Your blood is royal And flows with charisma, Because all Kings must be lovable. Follow the harp song Of all of my light loves. We build symphonies to protect You through the dark fall. Wake up dazed King You are now safely in the Pleiadian Ring. Your jewels remain Intact and seen.
PARALLEL ASCENSION (2017) Our nervous systems entwine As they extend electric tendrils Through open space of dreamtime. We can see static in the air And the pulsations of palpable glare.
Roots grow between membranes Of dimensions and time. Can you hear the chime? Paeans echo into the tremors Of our past and the further of our Future Until we are nothing but the suture. We are time travelers of the heart Passing through black holes and Parallel ascension, a la carte intention. Meteors surge, horoscopes emerge, Lineation of palms and psalms-- Here we are, alive and ready to thrive.
TO ALL THE MEN I HAVE OFFENDED WITH MY PERIOD (2015)
To all the men I have offended with my Period— Shame is not a word I allow myself to live any longer. I will not hide the pad from your eyes, or the string of my tampon. I bleed. I will a week of every month for decades to come, and I will not hide my pride. Half of this world bleeds the rich substance of womanhood, and half of this world can bear your children. Do not cower. Do not turn away. Do not deny the Goddess Magic. A woman will leave stains on your sheets and your heart and your lineage. Her blood can make your legacy, and her womb can carry generations. Do not call us crazy when our time of the month has come. We are not crazy, but tornadoes and hurricanes and nature embodied. We are the cycles of the Moon. Do not deny your own Divine Masculine by denying the Feminine. We are one. To all the men I have offended with my Period— I am sorry you are so afraid. I am sorry you feel so much shame. I am sorry you cannot see the strength and magic and glory. We have been taught to hide all our lives, to live in humiliation for something nature provides. Can you imagine? We have been taught to fear our womanhood, and keep quiet about our struggles because it makes you uncomfortable. We were taught to not mention the blood in our underwear, and silence would keep us safe because we are‘Gross’, ‘Disgusting’, ‘Messy’, ‘Moody’ ‘A bitch’. To all the men I have offended with my Period— I hope you can have compassion for all of us, including yourself. I hope you can see the mystery of womanhood as an intriguing facet of the human condition. I hope we can release our conditioned fears.
PREPARE FOR DEATH AND DESTRUCTION (2015)
Your hands will be stained crimson when you touch my heart. Blood will seep from the valves into your existence. When you fall for me prepare for death and destruction. Prepare for darkness that will get under your fingernails and into your veins. Your love is a knife and my past will seep from the cuts you leave.
Depression doesn't come with a bouquet of flowers or fancy dinner. Depression comes with a mask as he fills your home and lungs with mustard gas. Depression comes with serrated knives and framed pictures of past lovers and the people you miss. Depression comes with a harsh knock and the door kicked down, while you stand in the shower, naked and vulnerable. Depression comes right before bed time when the silence screams louder than the chaos. Depression comes with poisoned food and a movie reel with your past abuse. Depression comes in the eyes of your lover, your mother, everyone--
LIFE IN THE KEY OF Bb MINOR (2016)
These ribs are decorated with colored yarn and beads that sparkle in fire light. These eyes are traced with madness and mosaics of small fragmented deaths. These breasts are painted with oil and wax of vintage movies-- These hands are soaked in alcohol and become flames with the first sign of blood running through coarse veins. I am electrically insane. I would not have it any other way.
Do You Want Her? (2015)
If you want me to be the woman who can sit still at dinner, I am not her. I will spill wine on my dress and laugh too hard. If you want me to be the woman who can listen with resignation, I am not her. I will ask questions and call you on your bullshit. If you want me to be the woman who can hide her dismay, I am not her. I will cry in the street and tell dark secrets. If you want me to be the woman who will obey you, I am not her. I will wag my tail with strangers and talk too frank. If you want me to be the woman who can wait for you, I am not her. I have adventures to create and success to make. If you want me to be the woman who will save you, I am not her. I am a tornado with melodic fingers and my destruction fuels rebirth. If you want me to be your woman I can be her. I can be your woman if you love outside the lines. I can be your woman if you appreciate the splatters of an eclectic palette, and off beats, and whirlwinds, and mood swings, and music, and creation, and paradox, and all the things that make me moan. I can be her. I can be your woman if you do not own my body like a rabbit’s foot. I can be your woman if you give my lungs oxygen and not trapped gas. I can be your woman. I can be her. I can be your woman if you thrive in simple passion and wanderlust rules your motivations. I can be your woman if you want the challenge of a wild siren in the Redwood Forest. Do you want her?
SF IN SPRINGTIME (2015)
A woman orgasms in the room down the hall, and our view is a view of another view-- The man's baritone laugh sifts through the shades and the open, close of room 306. Beer make a mote of this temporary bed, and our legs are intertwined like Haight and Ashbury. Our eyes open to slivers of crescent moons, lips part, and breath e x p an ds. Atoms are spinning around and around, and the nucleus of my heart has started to attract the magnetized field of yours.
DEAR DAD (2016)
You made your delusions into a game, and all my life I carried the Olympic Torch from one lie to the next until my feet became so blistered and bloodied I could no longer carry the weight of your flame. All my life you had made your fabrications--your sexualizations-- into a joke, a sport. I had to be pretty to participate. I had to hold your torch so I was safe from the sidelines of my second life: A life of a different kind of abuse you conveniently left me to die inside. You pretended to be the good guy. After a lifetime of running-- at eighteen, exhaustion left me scattered on the pavement-- sparks spread from the torch into my hair, into my heart, and into my eyes until I had small burns all over my innocence. Your back was turned to me The moment I fell. You were too busy looking into a mirror and admiring the energy you siphoned From a race you never ran. You were always talking to imaginary Televisions and imaginary memories. You bought me things as a kid, but you left me no emotional savings. I turn twenty two is six days. You sent me a record signed by someone I do not know. I don't own a record player. I have never listened to records. I was convinced it was a letter When Mama told me you sent something-- I was convinced it was an apology-- but it was a blank card with blank thought. I am still crawling on this pavement with sparks in my hair, and you are still turning your back to act in your own delusional affair. I do not know if I will ever forgive you.
SHAKING SMILES (2016)
I am floating with different colored masks. Around 8 I wear Cheerful. Around 10 Friendly. Around 3 Loving. Around 5 Brave. Around 9, when night begins to really settle, all my masks are gone, and I have a face of worry and anxiety and shaking fake smiles.
NO NAME (2015)
Egyptian Hieroglyphs are easier to read than this— One day I feel as though my sinew and tendons Are made of lightning bolts. Others I am a newborn calf barely walking. I wonder where you have been. Sometimes I look into the void and wonder if By chance, some universal happenstance, Your spirit is staring back Of imprint in appreciation. Growing alone is so hard once you are conjoined. Nervous systems growing intertwined like roots and vines.
For James (2016) When you look at me I feel flames erupt in hues of emerald, crimson, and tangerine. Your eyes spark the fire, and nothing else exists but the love which transpires. When you touch me I have goosebumps seven feet deep and a gasp on cherry gates ready to meet. When you awake in the mist of morning, time stops and I am ready for our next soul swap. When you kiss my neck nothing else exists but your hair, your collarbones, your sweet lips. When you speak I hear hope, wonder, and inspiration. Each word you mutter pulls me under. Never have I loved in kaleidoscope feelings, and never have I felt so deeply for another.
OIL FIRES (2016)
Your cum is gasoline. You poured into me a toxic fire, and the walls of my womb are singed and scarred. Your saliva is gasoline. Each kiss left me with blisters and burns. So much time has passed but oil fires are hard to kill.
The child in me forced a premature Transformation. Ripping the roots up, up, up— Quietly agonizing. I cannot read these kaleidoscope visions Properly; nor can I decipher these ruins Burned into the back of my eyelids. You made the language on a day I was Feeling brave consciously remembering the sweet Sickle and naïve ways of past days.
Even though you always said you hated coffee you have become addicted. Even though I always said I hated cigarettes I smoked them for months. Even though we said we loved each other I stabbed Caesar, and you sent napalm into the depths of Delphi.